RQ: Disneyland with a side of pancakes.

Disneyland with a side of pancakes.

Oneshot Crack!Hetalia Fanfiction
_{Requested by Robyn}

Prompt:
Snapped!Canada
Prussia
Germany
Disneyland
Mini Skirt
Belarus
Lamp
America gettting hit in the face



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"Come on Mattie…" A blonde American with bright blue eyes whined at another man sitting next to him.

"I don't want to go on the roller coaster Alfred." An almost identical looking Canadian with light purple eyes and slightly longer, wavy hair replied.

"Please…" Alfred whined raising his voice, a slight pout started show in his expression.

"No." Matthew said sternly turning away from his brother. "Besides, we need to wait for Germany and Prussia. They said they would meet us here at Disneyland."

"They're taking forever though!" the American whined even louder than before, drawing attention from strangers passing by.

"Al." Matthew whispered as his face started to pink with embarrassment. He turned his attention to his phone reading a recent text from Gilbert.

As if on cue two German men were seen walking towards the two. One was a tall man with slicked back blonde hair, blue eyes and was wearing a green military uniform. The other was an albino with short white hair and strikingly red eyes. Much to the American's and Canadian's surprise, he was wearing a hot pink mini skirt and skin tight black top.

"G-Gilbert…?" Matthew stammered as they got closer, eyes never straying from the skirt.

Gilbert started to redden as he glanced down at his feet. He opened his mouth to reply but was cut short as Alfred finally recovered from the initial shock and had fallen to the ground breaking out in hysteric laughter. Gilbert grew even redder, playing with his hands nervously as Ludwig turned to Matthew.

"He lost a bet." Ludwig explained simply, Matthew nodding his head in immediate understanding.

"Matthew, let's go on the roller coaster now!" Alfred, who had become bored with the Prussian, yelled in Matthew's ear. He began repeatedly poking him in the face trying to break down Matthew's patience.

Matthew sighed before turning to the other two waiting beside them.

"You pull it off." The Canadian laughed as he stood up throwing Gilbert a wink.

"Kesesesese." Gilbert chuckled shaking his head sadly. "So what do you want to do?"

"ROLLER COASTER!" Alfred yelled at the top of his lungs standing to continue poking Matthew's face.

"Maple hockey. Stop acting like a spoiled child." Matthew replied through gritted teeth. He had been dealing with Alfred's obnoxious personality for almost a week and was quickly losing his famous Canadian patience.

"Spoiled child!? I'm the hero, not some brat! And the hero says we go on the roller coaster!" Alfred retorted before grabbing his brother's wrist and trying to drag him off.

Ludwig and Gilbert noticed Matthew's patience slowly fading and shot him a glance of pity. Matthew who was trying to block out everything and steady himself didn't notice.

"Roller coaster! Roller coaster! Roller coaster!" Alfred chanted over and over still poking the Canadian's face.

Matthew's eye started to twitch and he breathed slowly trying to deepen his concentration. Gilbert turned to Ludwig, cupping his brother's ear.

"I think we should split before this gets any worse." He whispered, Ludwig nodding his head in agreement. The two men backed away slowly before retreating to another section of Disneyland unnoticed.

The American could tell that his brother was getting annoyed, but wanted to see how far he could push him. Alfred dared to move his hand to poke Matthew one last time but was abruptly stopped as a hand grabbed his wrist. Alfred glanced at the Canadian with confusion as Matthew held the wrist just centimeters from his face.

"I. Told. You. No." Matthew growled. Something in his brain snapped as he dug his nails into Alfred's skin.

"Hey! Ouch! Mattie, what are you doing?!" Alfred yelped in pain before desperately trying to remove his arm from Matthew's grasp.

The Canadian simply pushed the American away, knocking him to the ground. He gazed down at his brother, all the suppressed anger, sadness, hatred and pain mixing into one insane expression. Alfred attempted to scramble up, a look of fear clouding over his eyes.

"Matthew! Snap out of it!" Alfred pleaded as his started to his feet but was quickly knocked back down.

Matthew placed his foot on the centre of Alfred's stomach, making it impossible to escape. He pulled out a hockey stick seemly out of thin air, holding it in both hands. Running his finger across the handle he smiled slyly at the sight of his brother pathetically struggling under his foot. Matthew laughed as he brought his hockey stick behind his head, intent on smashing the American's face. Alfred squealed as the Canadian started to bring the stick down with the force of a grizzly bear. Matthew's actions were stopped mid swing, almost as if he had frozen. A little laugh distracted him and his eyes glanced up to the source. A pale girl dressed in a maid-like outfit stood above the quarreling two with a look of glee.

"N-Natalia?" Alfred asked before gasping as Matthew's foot pressed harder into his stomach.

Natalia simply let out another giggle before pulling a lamp from behind her back. The two brothers' expressions both betrayed how confused they were, Matthew's head tilting to the side. Natalia lifted the lamp before violently throwing it towards the American's head. Unable to move, the lamp connected painfully with Alfred's face as he lay helpless. The initial force knocked the American out and all went quiet. Matthew glanced back up at where the girl has just been but was shocked to see she had vanished.  All the rage the Canadian had felt disappeared almost as quickly as Natalia had as he gazed down at his brother. The insane, slightly confused expression softened to a concerned one as he lifted Alfred gently into his arms.

"Let's get you to the hospital Al." Matthew whispered, ignoring the horrified expressions of the bystanders who had witnessed everything. Glancing down he spotted his pet bear wobbling towards him.

"Oh there you are Kuma." Matthew greeted him cheerfully. "Done with the rides?"

"Who are you?" Kumajiro replied, following the Canadian towards the exit.

"Matthew Williams." Matthew laughed, continuing his way to his brother's vehicle.

Placing Alfred carefully in the back, Matthew put Kumajiro in the passenger seat before buckling his seat belt. Turning on the car, the Canadian found a radio station he liked before pulling out of the crowded parking lot. He made his way to the nearest hospital quietly laughing to himself. When Matthew had finally pulled up to the entrance of the hospital Alfred had started to wake up. With a sly look, Matthew quickly hit his brother in the head with his hockey stick. Alfred fell back into unconsciousness as Matthew replied to Kumajiro's questioning look with a shrug. Carrying Alfred bridal style and Kumajiro by his side he checked the American into the hospital. Quickly getting a room, Matthew sat in a chair by Alfred's bedside quietly eating pancakes. Petting his polar bear with one hand, he added more maple syrup to the stack before contently continuing his supper.

"So the doctor says you won't remember anything that has happened today." Matthew commented, half to himself, half to the unconscious Alfred, with a mouthful of pancake. "Which probably is for the best, eh?"

Turning his attention to the window, Matthew saw Natalia sitting on the ledge just outside. Doing a double take the girl had yet again vanished. Shaking his head he finished his last bite of pancakes, discarding the dishes to a nearby table.

"Gilbert looks good in a mini skirt."